Engage In Desktop Warfare With This Roman Ballista
“Janet from HR is screwed, now”.
Authentically Roman. Serves as a fitting accompaniment to your Julius Caesar Backstabbed Stationary Holder.
I don’t think you need to be a Roman Empire buff or nerd to enjoy this one. I mean, who doesn’t want the ability to turn their boring cubicle into a souped-up battle station?
*Designed with interlocking parts, a simple, reliable trigger, high-strength cordage (what the hell is that?), and lightweight projectiles. Check it out here.*
Show your colleagues’ who’s boss
This is not some piece of fucking shit toy from Walmart. Whoever made this has a serious appreciation for high-grade military desk weapons, and it shows. The package comes in a 28-piece kit, and can fire projectiles over 30 feet. You’ll have a blast with this thing — literally.
“The ballista was the ultimate artillery weapon of the Roman Empire. Similar in appearance to a giant crossbow, it was powered by massive bundles of twisted horse hair. The bolts it fires would mow down enemies and fortifications alike.”
Janet from HR, James at the water-cooler — you both better watch your back. The General is back in town.