Optimize Your Tinder Profile With The Killer Whale Submarine

“Free Willy v2.0”. 

Hell, I loved that movie. Remember that glorious scene when Free Willy jumped over the rocks to save Christmas? Still holds up as a true cult masterpiece of cinema.

The vehicle to end conventional transportation as we know it

While I’m not 100% sure if this majestic vehicle was a homage to Free Willy, it might as well be. Just look at it. I mean, holy hell, if I didn’t lose all my money to bitcoin, I’d buy two of these right now.

*Goodbye ordinary life, I am now one with the ocean…*

The Killer Whale Submarine fits two very lucky individuals. Imagine the look on your Tinder date’s face as you rock up at the pier in one of these. Someone’s getting laid tonight, am I right?

This thing just gets better and better

It features twin control levers to “articulate the whale’s pectoral fins for rolls and stealthy dives”.

You steer it with dual foot pedals that control the thrust.

255 horsepower supercharged Rotax axial flow engine (no idea what this means but sounds frickin’ bad-ass).

Comes with an LCD screen inside the cockpit so you can watch live video from the dorsal fin’s built-in camera.

Who is this gift perfect for?

✔ Aquaman

✔ Me (please buy me one, I’ll take good care of her I promise)