Get Your Genuine Radioactive Uranium Ore Samples Here

“Which genius decided this would be a good idea?”

Don’t accept imitations. This is the real shit right here. A genuine, radioactive uranium ore sample that’s been certified by whoever the hell certifies this kind of shit. Don’t believe me? Check out this damn certificate.

*Nothing shouts ‘legitimacy’ more than a piece of paper uploaded as a .jpg on the internet.*

“For educational and scientific use only”

Yeah, “scientific use” — like that’s always ended up well hasn’t it? Whatever you intend to use this for (WMDs, Godzilla, self-mutation are good starting points), so long as you quote that it’s “for educational and scientific use”, you’ll be in the clear.

Just don’t come crying to us or Amazon that your cat has now developed a third eye in place of its rectum.

In all seriousness, you should be alright. It scores a ‘low radioactive score’ so shouldn’t be particularly dangerous, so long as you can resist the urge to put it in your god damn mouth.

*The source of the ore’s radioactivity is not determined and may be any of, or any number of radioactive elements such as uranium, thorium and potassium and any of their decay products such as radium and radon.*